Our latest batch of Obamunism shirts got botched! The red and blue inks were accidentally swapped, making the sky red and stripes blue. Instead of just trashing the lot, we decided to give you a shot at buying these one-of-a-kind misprints at a dramatically reduced cost. Shirts start at $7. Hoodies start at $15. Quantities are very limited, so grab yours while you can.
With all the controversy surrounding gay marriage, we figured everyone was sorely overlooking the controversy surrounding divorce and deadbeat dads. It begs the questions: is it better to have two dads or no dad at all? We’re betting on two dads with our Two Dads Are Better Than None design…if not merely because it’s edgier than a shirt that simply says: “I have a dad.” Let us know what you think.
It’s official. The media has been taken over by the government. Now you don’t have to kid yourself anymore about whether or not television news is just propaganda. It most certainly is. Commemorate this shift in policy from secretive brainwashing to outright public pandering with your very own OBC: Obama Broadcasting Company t-shirt. Pre-orders are only $14. This initial run may be small, but if you’re interested, we will definitely reprint.
We are finally offering hookers on Conch Tees. People have been asking and asking, “When are you going to start selling hookers?” Usually it’s followed by, “I really want hookers!” Ok ok, fine! We caved! We’re selling hookers now. Sheesh. We have both men’s hookers and women’s hookers. As usual they’re on sale for their introductory period. So go buy your hookers shirt already. Pre-orders should ship by June 18th.
UPS really messed something up when shipping our supplies, so any recent sticker orders will be delayed until Thursday, June 11. I am really sorry about the inconvenience.
We generally try to be pretty smart about printing only the designs you really like, and you really seemed to like I’m with /dev/null. So, we decided to expand our /dev/null product line to include hoodies! Grab your I’m with /dev/null hoodies now, and be the coolest geek on the block.
Please vote on hookers.cr–gslist.org at your earliest convenience. And let me know if you find some cheap company for the weekend. I’m desperate.
Finally, the moment has come. Your patience has been admirable. We got our baby-making machine working, and now We Can Make Babies! is ready for pre-orders! Get it in both men’s and women’s sizes. And remember, baby-making is most fun when it involves more than one person, so buy some for your most intimate of friends too. They’ll thank you for it. Trust me.
You asked and we listened! By popular demand, we are pleased to offer our Obamunism design printed on 4″ x 4″ square stickers and 2.5″ x 9.25″ bumper stickers. They look great, so grab yours fast! Heck, get some for your neighbors too. They even make great Mother’s Day gifts!
See it here first, folks… Jason, from Iwearyourshirt.com, has discovered our Food, the Poop of the Future shirt and decided to take it for a walk on the beach. While enjoying the afternoon sun, he discovered our new Conch Phone and, well, sorta fell in love with it. Check it out here: